she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
