Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
