We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
