Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
