if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
