Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
