i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Damn victory sex feels great
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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