ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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