Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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