I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
