I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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