I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
