I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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