I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
