so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sext me about skeletons
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize