i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
