You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
wow bdsm is so cute
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
