wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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