There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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