Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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