Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
