can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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