It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
