I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this just has baby written all over it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
