If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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