what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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