I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
