sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
