What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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