franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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