am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
And then he peed in my hair
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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