You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
