For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
