I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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