Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
