we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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