were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
