OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
