Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
