Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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