i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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