You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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