so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
false alarm. still invincible.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
