He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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