Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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