I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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