i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
