Swine flu. Run for my life!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
