am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
