I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
