I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
