I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
