I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
