I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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