so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
