Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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