Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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