no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
