sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
