She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
