someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
