i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
