We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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