using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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