I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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