We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
